I think one of the hardest challenges for someone like me, when I came here, was the one that told me I had to learn to let go and let God. I’ve read a lot of the same thing in the Grapevine book Spiritual Awakenings. Not only that I’ve heard it told by many in this program.
Yet it was just that letting go, which got me to stop drinking and got me to this program. I didn’t realize it at the time. But a prayer I said out of desperation was what started me on this road to sobriety.
I would hear those sober men and women talking about this at meetings and my muddled head couldn’t grab onto it. They suggested the Serenity Prayer to me, but the truth was I didn’t understand it. In fact it took a long time in here to finally get my mind open long enough to get a grip on what I was saying.
I’ve said this many times, that what got me started down this road to spirituality was the 4th Chapter in the BB. We Agnostics. Something that I was avoiding reading until my sponsor made me open the book to it. I finally did and there it was. The statement that told me that I was either going to live a spiritual life or die and alcoholic death. That clinched it for me.
I had nearly killed myself with alcohol and I didn’t want to go back there ever again. If spirituality was the answer then I began to open that door in my head. Then it said that lack of power was our problem. Something that would empower us to live this life was what I needed. And then it told me that it had to be a Power greater than myself. Well, alcohol was a power greater than myself and I knew it was going to have to be a Power greater than alcohol. That Power I would certainly welcome in my life. And I did.
That was the beginning of my journey down this path called sober living. And it was the rest of the Steps which were going to free me through a spiritual awakening. The restoration to sanity. Freedom from the bondage of alcohol. All accomplished through what I couldn’t understand at first: turning my will and my life over to the care of God. Or, as we talked about today, letting go and letting God.
It doesn’t matter what we conceive this Higher Power or the God of our understanding is. It could be anything, as long as it makes sense to us. It could be the group. It could be the Program, the 12 Steps. It might just be a vague sense of the unknown. Whatever it is to each one of us, it’s open to all and it works, if we will work it. It’s worked for me all these years. Imperfectly yes, but it has brought peace of mind, serenity, and a new happiness along with the new freedom promised us. I am grateful for this. Who wouldn’t be?