Independence Day. Wow. I was thinking about some of this, when we were talking about the Promises today. What I was wondering was did I ever experience independence?
I sure never had any independence when I was drinking. Alcohol was in charge and I wasn’t. I was totally dependent on booze. It ran my life and made all the decisions for me. It governed my thoughts (?) and my actions. I definitely was not a free man.
And then came sobriety. Even after I came in I was still dependent. True, I was free of alcohol for the first time in many a year. Now my dependency was on the men and women, who came before me. They had to help me find and discover this new way of life I had been offered. I had to listen to them and follow their suggestions, if I wanted to experience any freedom at all.
However, as I began to put these 12 Steps into action, my life and my dependencies started to change. That 2nd Step, after surrendering in the 1st, allowed me to begin to have faith in something much bigger than me. Much greater than alcohol. And as I progressed through these Steps I began to experience something I had never had before. It was after that 9th that I began to know a new freedom and a new happiness. Freedom from the bondage of alcohol, which opened the door to sanity. A spiritual awakening.
Today I could think about what has been going on over the time I have been sober. Guess what? The freedom I have experienced in here, living a sober life, a spiritual life, has given me a new outlook on the idea of independence. True I am dependent on my higher power. I am dependent on the Steps to keep me “in line”. On the road of happy destiny. I’m dependent on others, because I know I can’t stay sober by myself. I’m dependent on the BB and meetings to keep me current a day at a time. But for all of that, I am, like I said, free. No longer constrained by a vicious way of living and acting.
I have choices today. For good or for bad. But, since I have had a spiritual awakening, I’m not the same person and I believe I live a better way of life. Hopefully for the good. I truly want to live and do the God of my understanding’s will for me. I never had that choice before. Does it work? Yes, but hardly perfectly. All I know is that my concept is that there is always something I have to do to keep on track. To stay sober.
That phrase “beyond my wildest dreams” enters the picture. Because. before I came here, I never could have conceived living this way of life that I am today. It’s the best thing which ever happened to me. When I look at all the Promises, it’s far beyond my expectations to start with. Who would have ever thought that these would be in my life? I certainly didn’t and yet here I am. All I could hear today were others like myself talking about the gratitude they have for receiving them. I am grateful.