A memory last night and an incident today brought back something from my past that reminded me of my Higher Power working in my life. The memory was of a hot and humid July night at a meeting I was attending, when I was six months sober. The room was crowded and the heat was stifling. The floor had puddles on it from the humidity.
I remember sitting there, while people were responding to talking about a Step. I looked around the room and a thought hit me: these are the crazy people. I don’t belong here. What am I doing here?
As I was thinking this thought, the man next to me leaned over and said, “You only have to do this a day at a time. Just for now.” How did he know what I was thinking? It really blew my mind. It stopped the thought and brought me back to earth. Talk about Divine Intervention. Where did that come from?
Today at the meeting I saw an example of myself from back those many years ago. A person who, from what they said and how they acted, was obviously unaccepting of their alcoholism. Probably, like I was then, they seemed to be thinking the same thoughts I did. And, just like me then, they had sixth months without a drink.
But what struck me about the meeting today was the people in the room. What they were saying made me feel the presence of a Higher Power in the room. I wasn’t the only one, who felt this. A couple of others mentioned it to me. And I wondered was this person even remotely aware of this? I could only hope they could have the same reaction, just as I did those many years ago.
Since the topic, brought up by someone else, was on fear and anger at a relative’s relapse, the members in the room talked about their experiences with much the same thing and how we had to learn to realize we are powerless. We have to learn to accept and let go and let God do what we cannot. We have to learn to pay attention to our need to stay sober. Hard to accept that what another person does, especially a relation, is none of our business.
And that’s exactly what we all had to learn about the person, who was resisting. Let go and let God. We’re powerless. Only their own surrender and acceptance, just like we had to do, is the answer. And, of course, it’s pain that gets us there. It did me. And that led to the 2nd Step for me. Came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. It still does.
Ned, I am so greatful to you for telling me about your notebook. Since I can’t make the noon meetings until the end of August, these messages from you help keep me in touch with my beloved group. It also keeps me grounded. I make sure I read it every day and it helps me remember where I was just a few short months ago. It also reassures me that I cannot do this alone. Sometimes when I need help, the group becomes My Higher Power. So thanks again for doing this to help others learn from your strengths and experiences. Looking forward to tomorrows message. Respectfully, Jeanne C.