We had a man coming back today and also went out and had coffee and talked with friends. As far as the man coming back, it was one thing to share, but another to be reminded of what it was like back, when I hit my bottom. I know one thing, I can’t make the person coming back want what I have. All I can do is what everyone else did. Be an example. It’s up to him.
I just got off the Internet with a friend down in Del., who has just celebrated 30 years. And I was out with another friend today, who celebrates 35 years tomorrow. It’s so wonderful and makes me grateful to know friends, who have not only saved their own lives, but have turned into people I love and care about. Makes me think about the man coming back and hope for him to be like my friends.
Another friend and I were talking about sobriety and the spiritual life we’ve been offered and given. We talked about the effects of the Steps on our lives and the changes we have undergone as a result. However one of the things we both agreed on was that no matter how much we keep changing, and no matter how much we have learned about living this way of life, the truth is that we really don’t know anything about ourselves. Who we really are. All we know is what we once were and what we are now. Beyond that we have to depend on our Higher Power. To have faith and hope. Where we’re going we don’t have a clue. All we know is that we’ve been blessed to having gotten sober. We have this day and that’s all we know. Tomorrow is something else and we will cross that bridge, when we come to it.
We also agreed that we have to be grateful for what we have. It is enough. I don’t really have to understand. What I know at the present moment is enough for me. That almost made me laugh, when I think of how little I really know. The longer I remain sober through this program I have discovered the less I know. The spiritual life is a mystery to me. All I know is that I have grown dependent on my Higher Power for all that I have. Like I said, I’ve actually grown in hope and in turn faith as a result.
As my sponsor once said that I was not responsible for coming to this program and getting sober. But, as a result, I am now responsible for my keeping sober and growing along spiritual lines and changing. Working the program and practicing these principles in all of my affairs, and like today, offering help to another suffering alcoholic, by sharing what I have learned and experienced. Part of being grateful.