Couldn’t help but think today what this program is really about. It’s about not drinking. Staying sober. Easy to get caught up in everything. Meetings and our individual lives can certainly bring so many things to mind that the basics can get pushed aside every now and then.
We were talking about defects and being powerless over others today. Good topics, good meeting. But underneath all of this is the fact that, if we hadn’t stopped drinking and gotten sober we wouldn’t have the opportunity to be sitting there talking about all of this stuff.
True there are a lot of individual elements we need to deal with, if we are going to remain sober and on the path to sobriety. All I have to do is to stop and look at and study the Twelve Steps, which have so changed us that we are able to remain sober a day at a time. Not just not drinking, but, for instance, the spiritual way of life. The Third Step and learning to let go and let the God of our understanding be in charge of our lives. The housecleaning in the next six Steps. Then the summation of this program in the final three Steps. What it’s all about.
However I have to remain conscious of what is wrong with me and what it’s all about. I have a disease called alcoholism. It’s what owned my life and almost killed me. It’s a miracle I am still here. Fortunately I came here and got sober. I never want to drink again and to do that I have to put this program into action. To live this life as the program outlines it for me. And it works. It really does. And I know that I have to be grateful for that.
But the fact remains that I’m not cured of this disease. It will always be there. Alcohol is still present in this world and I know that it’s possible for me or anyone of us to slip back into drinking again. I’ve seen it over and over again. I’ve seen others slip and take that drink and many of them die a horrible death. It’s a progressive disease. I know that next drink won’t be like the one I put down. I can tell myself I’m not going there, but didn’t many of them say the same thing? I’m vulnerable, even though I may tell myself I’m not. How stupid is that?
The truth is that I have to be aware of what this is really all about. I have a wonderful life today, but in order to keep it I have to do whatever it is I have to a day at a time. I have to go to meetings to be reminded of what often slips my mind. It’s not difficult for me to slip back into old ways of thinking and sometimes acting. The difficulty for me is to do the right things. That’s why it’s so important for me to talk to other members like myself about what I think and do and then listen to what their experiences have been and then follow their suggestions.
I also have to have an open mind and an open heart. I got that from what I have done at the suggestions of my old sponsor and those old timers and the people around me. I also got it from reading and studying the BB and the 12&12. I learned that I have to give this program away to keep it. To freely give what was so freely given to me.
The price of sobriety is eternal vigilance, as the BB tells me. It’s true. I also need to rely, not just on my fellow alcoholics, but upon my concept of a Higher Power in my life. And to be grateful for all I have been given and to act out my gratitude with others.
Just thinking about staying sober.