Last night before I went to sleep I was reading a comment on the Tenth Step. It talked about reviewing two of our most blatant defects, our selfishness and self centered-ness and moving on with them into the Eleventh Step for the assistance we need. I guess I wasn’t surprised, when it became the topic for the meeting today.
When I say the Third Step Prayer and the words, “relieve me of the bondage of self”, isn’t that what I’m dealing with? Or as a friend of mine often says, It’s all about me. That’s pretty much what our founders knew was our main problem.
Almost everyone who spoke today could identify with our stumbling block, ourselves. Our selfish thinking. And the need to go to the Tenth Step, not just at the end of the day, but during the day, when I become aware of my self centered thinking. To pray and ask for help. And I know how true that is. I need my Higher Power to help me overcome myself and to get myself out of myself and think about others. To be open minded and willing to be of help, when I can.
Of course one of the symptoms of my self centered thinking is my temper. The minute that begins to pop up that’s when I need to pray and ask for help, rather than being pulled down into that way of thinking and acting. I need to be aware.
It’s part of my being sober. Thinking and acting accordingly. And it all begins in the morning, each and everyday with prayer and meditation. To be able to practice these principles in all of my affairs. It’s part and parcel of my commitment to stay sober. All I should have to do is to remind myself of what I was like and what my drinking life was all about. That should get my attention and just thinking about it at the moment seems to be doing just that.
And, of course, it’s all about change. The change, which these Steps have brought about over time. The change in my personality and thinking. All of which began, when I finally surrendered and took that Second Step and came to believe in a Power greater than myself. My Higher Power.
Anyway, I was glad to be reminded about all of this. I need all the help I can get to continue to grow along spiritual lines and stay sober a day at a time.