What was rough for me today was to spend time talking to someone coming back and listening to them telling me that they don’t believe they can get sober so what’s the use? I know that I’m not the only one who has ever dealt with this kind of mind set. On the one hand it’s discouraging and on the other it fills me with gratitude for what I have in my life.
It is just an example of how sick the alcoholic is mentally and emotionally. The spiritual isn’t even in the picture at the moment. Many in the room today, who spoke to this man, said they hoped he was in enough pain to want to stop drinking and get sober. Just looking in his eyes after the meeting, when I talked to him, I could see the desperation and despair. Made me think of how I must have looked, when I came in years ago.
I know, when we shook hands, he wanted to separate from me and get out of the room. Instead, I wouldn’t let his hand go. I made sure that I would try to give him the message I was given, when I came in. Not only telling him again about this disease and its consequences, but what the solution was for me and could be for him. And when he tried to put it off because of his discouragement, I continued to try to encourage him.
However I do know that I have never changed any person’s mind, who doesn’t want to change. But I did think that it was worth the effort anyway. Why not? Who knows what might turn his thoughts around? I know that my sponsor and some old timers said things to me that I scoffed at and later came into my consciousness and changed my mind. Any number of times. I particularly remember that, when it came to acquiring a Higher Power.
I’m not looking to win anything. Just hope it would help someone like I was helped. Again trying to freely give away what was so freely given to me. I realize all I can do is try. If I didn’t I know it would probably be all right, but why not give it a shot? I know it was momentarily a little discouraging looking into those eyes. I still have some of that feeling.
As I sit here thinking about those moments today with both of those men it reminded me that it’s part of what I’m supposed to be thinking and doing. To practice these principles in all of my affairs. And though I may share always at meetings when someone is coming back or new, it’s not always possible to get the opportunity to personally speak to them and that I need to do so, when I can. And I also realize that I need to let go and get on with my life, especially if I have let go and turned them over to my Higher Power, which I have.
Just grateful for the opportunity I was given. And glad that I have what I have as a result of being sober and trying to live this program. I owe my Higher Power and many people so much and need to say thanks.