Looking back, and that’s what we did at the meeting today, we talked about sponsorship. I say looking back, because of the image of my sponsor stood out in my mind. He was a great example to me and I always think of how much I owe him for what he did for me. I have never forgotten, nor do I ever want to forget.
I’m talking about my “second” sponsor. My first I had for about two years, although my second sponsor was already in my life and having a great influence on my thinking and my actions. The first however was also important. First he got me into Twelfth Step work immediately. Almost everyday and sometimes two or three times. This was quite a bit before rehabs, so there were all kinds of calls coming in.
The second thing he did for me was to illustrate to me one of the greatest lessons I had to learn. He was carrying around a great resentment. I knew that, but I didn’t think it was all that important until he drank and died as a result. I not only have never forgotten that, but have been aware of it over the years, as I have witnessed others to whom the same thing happened.
It was then the sponsor, who took me under his wing, asked me a couple of questions. The first was did I want to follow my first sponsor or did I want to get sober and stay sober? The next was to what lengths was I willing to go to stay sober? It was then he told me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did.
Then he set me up for the spiritual way of life by introducing me to the Second Step. And then he began the process within me to grow up emotionally. Took a long time. Still takes time. He told me that I was insecure, immature, and oversensitive. I was to learn how right he was in so many ways. He also told me that I was to think with my head and not my heart. In other words it was time to grow up and become an adult. Still striving to get there.
He was in my life for so many years. When he died, his widow, who had almost 60 years, when she passed away, began to fill the void until she passed away. And today, several of my friends from back in those times are still around and continue to assist me in this way of life. This spiritual way of life I have found in sobriety. That’s where the answers are and where I was encouraged to live.
I feel sorry for those, who have no sponsor or directions. I do know that I learned not only how to get sober from those who have taken the time to sponsor me, but I also learned that most sponsors are capable of directing and counseling us along spiritual lines. At least that was my experience over time. Still is from my friends, who are willing to put up with me. I should say we share alike in this.
I didn’t go into all of this, when I did share, but I hoped I expressed my gratitude for all that I was given. Just another part of the evidence of my Higher Power in my life. For that I need to say “Thanks”.