I’ve found out over the years that Steps Six and Seven come around and play a big part in our lives. Our sobriety. Didn’t seem so much that way at one time, but now it does.
Probably one of the things, which becomes obvious, as I go on, is emotional sobriety. I do have to be grateful for my sponsor, the old timers, and the literature, which made me aware of what was wrong with me. I know how much a part my emotions play into my character defects. It’s what turns them on.
The other night I was dealing with someone. No big deal at first, but they wouldn’t respond right away and seemed to be stalling. That began to irritate me and just suddenly this “light” flashed in my head and I knew I was starting to get this “feeling” and I knew anger was next. I said a quick prayer and things calmed down and I didn’t have to lose my temper. Amazing.
I knew from reading and practice what I was dealing with could be found in the those two Steps. And definitely it was an example of how big a part my emotions played in my getting pulled into my defects. Stall the feelings and begin to grow up emotionally. Become a mature adult. Not easy for a child-like person, as myself. But the answer was presented to me way back. It just took time to put it into effect.
The answer is definitely spiritual. It all begins by trying to remain aware of what is going on. The minute I lose awareness is when I can be surprised and lose control of my feelings and my emotions. Just like the BB says, the price of sobriety is eternal vigilance.
And this is all about sobriety. That’s what my sponsor and the BB and 12&12 talked about. Especially when it comes to anger, leading to resentments. Over time I got to witness the effects of this in others and a warning to me to do something about myself. Being able to practice a spot check, as some brought up at the meeting today, is terribly important. Again, thank goodness for my sponsor and others to make me aware of what it was that I needed to do to stay sober.
And that’s another benefit in this program. To be able to have meetings I can attend and hopefully hear about the Steps and how to put them into action in my life. A reminder and a reinforcement I need to be able to hear on a regular basis. How easy it is to forget for someone like myself. It’s so easy to fall back into old habits of thinking and feeling. Learning to avoid this kind of thinking and acting does not come normally to an alcoholic like myself. I definitely need help and this is one way of getting that help. From others like myself.
Anyway I was thinking about this this afternoon. Glad I had the opportunity.