Something a friend of mine reminded me of yesterday came up today. The Twelfth Step. It’s such an important part of my sobriety that I really don’t need a reminder on a regular basis. It’s always present. That’s because it was there from the beginning.
When I came into this program I got a sponsor, my first, who took me out on Twelfth Step calls almost daily for a long time. That was back when rehabs were not really around, nor detoxes. So the desk in the city would always be calling someone to go out on calls. And sometimes we would find an alcoholic lying on the street.
I learned later on that my first sponsor was not into the Steps all that much. The First and the Twelfth for sure, but never really went to the others. I mean we went to meetings and the Steps were always featured and discussed, but that was about it. Of course my second sponsor was always there and did discuss the program and the literature and the Steps. So, when my first died from alcohol, he was right there.
And, of course, for quite a while I really never knew much about the program on these calls and so all I knew was that we were going around and picking drunks up and often escorting them to meetings or talking to them at their homes. But the truth was I was lost at first. And that showed up, when I was sent out on a call to talk to an alcoholic, who was a psychologist. I was told to take a new man with me and I did. When I got there the call lasted almost an hour, but I really didn’t know what the message I was to present was. And I got kicked out of his hospital room. I asked my sponsor why he sent me in the first place and he said that he knew if I could win the argument with me that I could stay sober.
Over time I have had a lot of calls with alcoholics and I learned what it was that I needed to share with another alcoholic like myself. And the more calls I had the more I realized just how fortunate I was to have found this program. I also know that the people I have talked to haven’t always gotten well, but I discovered just how much I have been rewarded for having been able to share what I have received in here. My sobriety.
Of course this Step is the culmination of the other eleven. And it begins with what this program is all about. A spiritual way of life. The spiritual awakening, the solution to my sickness from this disease. The restoration to sanity from alcohol by my Higher Power. Exactly what Dr. Carl Jung told that young man back in There Is A Solution.
In fact there was a man to whom we talked today, who was coming back from having gone back out and drinking again. And there it was for all of us in the room the second and third parts of this step. Carrying the message and trying to practice these principles in all of our affairs. At least practicing compassion for the suffering alcoholic. Even when delivering the message in a manner of “tough love”. A wake up call, like my old sponsor and those old timers gave to me. I know what it did for me.
To be able to talk to someone like this and trying to get past their alcohol soaked mind and help them wake up to what it is we need to do, if we are to get sober and live life rather than die an alcoholic death. I always go back to the end of the First Step in the 12&12. I talk about the need I had to suffer the pain I did at the end of my drinking. To hit a bottom and be able to feel the suffering we are undergoing. To surrender.
I don’t know if the message reached within this man, but I know I heard it and it had an effect on me, as it always does, when we have the opportunity to carry the message to the alcoholic, who still suffers. Made me and others grateful for having had the opportunity to at least try to help another one just like us.