Sometimes I will sit and think about what’s going on that is none of my business and certainly something I have no power over. Again the Serenity Prayer. The things I cannot change. And, when I think about it, that’s almost everything. People, places, and things.
I was talking with another friend of mine after our meeting today and the solution came up. It’s always right there in front of me, if I will step back and remind myself of what it is I’m supposed to be doing. And what’s that? Working to stay sober a day at a time. And how am I to do that? It’s right there in the Steps. And I always go back to that Second Step.
I know that I have to rely on a Power greater than myself. I know that I have had that spiritual awakening. I have been restored to sanity, as stated in that Second Step. The spiritual awakening. It’s beyond my power. I have come to rely on my Higher Power. Having found hope and the fulfillment of that hope, which turned into faith. And then eventually love, when I turn around and begin to give what was given to me back to those who need whatever it is I have. My experience, strength, and hope freely given to me by others and my Higher Power.
One of those gifts to me, which came as a result of surrendering in the First Step and the Second, was the recognition of just how grateful I am to be an alcoholic. I just have to think about where I am today, as a result of being in this program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I’m alive and sober. That wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t an alcoholic. I just have to look how the changes I have gone through, as a result of these Twelve Steps and the help of others have brought to me. I’m no longer that drunk, who came through these doors.
And all I had to have when I came here was stated in the Third Tradition. A desire to stop drinking. And I can say I had that and a lot more. I was so desperate that I didn’t just have a desire to stop drinking, I never wanted to drink ever again. If I couldn’t have stopped I was willing to kill myself. I just couldn’t go on. Even though I didn’t know it there was no way I could stop drinking on my own. I had tried over and over again and alcohol owned me. I had to drink. And then there was a man, who brought me what I so desperately needed. Hope. And that hope led me to say a prayer and that changed everything. It stopped me from drinking. My first spiritual awakening, which I had no idea what that was.
If I am honest with myself, I can say that I need to recognize each and everyday what this program has given to me. Just having had the willingness to stop drinking was all that was asked of me. I didn’t know at the time. The recognition of the word “power” was not in my mind at that time. It only came later, when I was made aware that I lacked the power I would need to do what this program gave me. Sobriety.
The bottom line is that the answer to my problem with alcohol is spiritual. In fact the spiritual answer is what has changed so many other things in my life. That’s what my friend and I talked about today. I can’t express how really grateful I am for all I have been given. All I really can do is to get up each day and try to rededicate myself to practicing these principles in all of my affairs. To remember that the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived. And that is how I can practice my gratitude.