Today I was thinking about gifts I have been given since I came into these rooms. And each and everyone of them are the people I have known. They have given themselves to someone like me.
Every time someone calls me, or talks to me, or reaches out to help me, or reaches out for help, I find myself receiving an unexpected reward. One way or another.
I look back at those old timers, who were always helping me. Sometimes it would come in the form of a confrontation. Something I definitely needed, because of my attitude. A wake up call. Other times it was in the form of clear support. I was being given the guidance I needed at the time.
My sponsor, who I had over a couple of decades, gave me the kind of help I never could have ever hoped for before I came here. In fact he replaced my first sponsor, who had gone back out and drank again and died as a result. In fact that was a gift for me also. It was a wake up call and a demonstration to me of what this program was trying to tell me. It was the beginning of learning to take this way of life seriously. Especially learning to grow along spiritual lines.
I go back and look at what my sponsor taught me. He never directed me to do anything but one. And that was to put the Second Step into my life. That’s why I talk about that Step so often. It was that Step that changed my life. It brought hope into a reality. Built faith within me. Introduced me to my Higher Power. And gave me what I so desperately needed. A restoration to sanity. Put alcohol off into a place of neutrality. And, of course, the spiritual awakening(s). A peace and happiness as a result of the freedom from alcohol’s bondage.
More than that, it placed his wife, who, when he died continued to help me for so many, many years. She still was sharp and able to do for me what I needed. She lived until 90 and had almost 60 years sobriety. I look back at her, who like so many others, freely gave of themselves to help me stay sober.
Of course all of this sounds so selfish. None of these men and women were exclusively helping me. They were giving of themselves to so many others. In fact I can remember how they at times reached out to me for support they needed. Something which always amazed me. So that I could be a gift to them.
And today I look around and see how many others I have known and know are continuing to provide me with help and care I need. And often asking for the same in return. Real compassion being put into action both ways.
I couldn’t help but think about this as I was considering my relationship to my Higher Power. Part of the Eleventh Step. Something I know I continue to be encouraged to follow by those around me. If nothing else but by example. It’s something I can sense. It’s something I only have to listen to in and outside meetings. A reminder I definitely need for this often wandering mind of mine.
Last night I found myself going back and remembering some of this stuff I learned in here from my sponsor and old timers. One of them reminded me of the attitude I need to practice on a daily basis. Positive. Leave the negative for others. Like that old timer said, my positive attitude changes the facts. It helps to shield me against the insanity of emotions.
Anyway it is just part of what I need in here. To practice sobriety on a daily basis. One day at a time. And to express my gratitude for all that I have been given by my Higher Power and those, who like me are seeking to practice this way of life.