One of these gifts we all may receive is the one we give. I know that for a fact. I know I have given this gift to others and then received the one I always need. And what’s that I ask myself?
My sponsor and those old timers in here were always telling me what it was that I desperately needed to give. And they told me that if I did I would be on the receiving end. And what that was is this program. What was so freely given to me I must freely give to others, if I want to keep it.
And, of course, that’s the Twelfth Step. That was what we were all talking about at the meeting today. That very thing. I must never forget that. In fact without knowing this back in the beginning it was what my first sponsor had me doing almost everyday. It was back when there were no rehabs, as such, and hospitals had no detox units. In fact there was no treatment for this disease. So Twelfth Step calls were always being called into everyone who had volunteered by the “front office”, down where I got sober.
The truth was that I had no idea what we were really doing. All I knew was that what I was doing was what my sponsor at that time told me to do. I now know, looking back, that he was what we used to call a “Two Stepper”. The First and the Twelfth and nothing in between. My guess is that was what made him go out and drink again on a resentment and die.
Fact of the matter was that in our discussion today, almost everyone began their remarks with the First Step. And that’s exactly where I was back then. All I knew was that I had surrendered to my being powerless over alcohol and with God’s help I finally stopped drinking and came into this program. It demonstrated to me that most of us often think about that First Step and its impact on our staying sober. It was that surrender which opened the door for all of us at some point to begin this spiritual way of living. The spiritual solution we all need, which brought about the spiritual awakening and our sobriety.
Anyway it’s clear to me, as it was apparent today, that the Twelfth Step is definitely a spiritual Step. A demonstration to the new person that this program works for those of us, who are carrying the message. A clear message that if it works for us it can for them also.
In fact I often stop and think in here that often I am talking to others, who have sobriety, but are suffering from one thing or another, and what is it I find myself doing? The Twelfth Step. Hopefully helping another person like myself to redirect their focus back on why we are here. To stay sober one day at a time. No matter what is bothering them there is an answer one way or another in time. But always for now to stay sober this day.
I know I have found this true for myself. And I owe that to my old sponsor and those old timers, who gave me the directions I so desperately needed. Over time it changed my life. Like my sponsor’s widow told us, I need to remember that I’m number one. Always. This is about my sobriety. No one can stay sober for me. It’s up to me to do what I need to do each and everyday, one day at a time. And that is to practice this program, this spiritual program and its principles in all of my affairs. And to carry this message to the alcoholic who is in pain and needs it. Just like I did…and sometimes find myself bumbling and stumbling and needing the help of another alcoholic like myself.
And basically I need to remember Who is always there willing to help if I will stop and step aside and ask for the help I need. My Higher Power. I always need to remember how that First Step worked for me, when in total desperation I begged the God of my understanding to help me to stop drinking alcohol and living the life I was living back then. And it worked, because without knowing what I was doing, I promised my Higher Power I would do whatever was asked of me. And that was this program. And it’s worked each and everyday I have been here.
Anyway I had to stop and think about this meeting today. It made me so grateful. Like I just told myself, I have to focus each day I wake up on why I am here and commit myself to do whatever it is I need to do. And that’s to stay sober.