Talking and listening to others brought up that old saying my sponsor and those old timers would give to me. First things first. I never want to forget that. It’s certainly helped me through my time in here.
And, of course, the first thing is for me to remain sober. However the next thing is how I do that, which itself becomes a “first thing” in my life. And I know that I cannot do this by myself. So that means I have to share myself with others and allow them to share with me. That means I have to go to meetings.
Thankfully my old sponsor was the one who showed me that. He not only told me, but he was a perfect example. I have a lot of stories going back a long time. However the best examples I have ever had to reinforce this in my life were those individuals, who stopped going to meetings and sharing with others. Most of them went back out and many of them died as a result of drinking once again. My first sponsor was one of them. Never want to forget that.
One of the topics at the meeting today just reinforced that statement, first things first. It was the Second Step. That Step led me to my Higher Power and the restoration to sanity. That’s where I stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol. And it also was the introduction to the spiritual way of life in here and the rest of the Steps. Over time it got me focused on what it is I need to do to stay sober one day at a time.
It also taught me what I needed to know. I came in with all these things I wanted in my life. I didn’t realize how insane and ego inflated my thinking was. I had to learn over and over again how to let go of all those old ideas I had. I also had to learn how, with the help of my Higher Power and those old timers how to begin to deal with those negative emotions I had in my life. Those things which controlled my thinking and often my actions. Over time, with all the help I have been given in here, the effect of those emotions have been reduced or removed.
I again have to say how grateful I am for all the help I have been given. Of course it’s all because of my learning how to place first things first. I know I have to put my ego driven wants aside and to focus on what is important in my life. And that’s exactly why I still have a life. It’s my sobriety. No one can stay sober for me. I have to do that. I have to do what my sponsor’s widow told us we all have to do. I have to place myself as number one. Not to inflate my ego, but so I can remember what it is I have to do. I am the one in my life who has to stay sober. Others are welcome after that.
Anyway just had to stop and think about all of this. Just another reminder for me that each and everyday to remember why I am here.To stay sober one day at a time.