We were talking about gratitude today, but I had talked to quite a few before and my thoughts were not just on gratitude alone. They were on what it is that I need in my life and I can only hope for others. And that’s a positive attitude each and everyday.
The reason all this came up was what I was listening to. A lot of people I knew, who were suffering from their negative emotions. These had carried them beyond the day. What I was thinking of was not what was on their minds, but what wasn’t on their minds. Their staying sober that day.
I may tell myself that I don’t want to drink again, but I can like so many get pulled down by my negative thinking. My emotions thinking for me. My mind wandering off in directions other than this program and staying sober today.
I can remember reading that positive people live longer than negatives. Sounds logical. But for an alcoholic like myself I know it is what has helped me to put my intellect over my emotions. What my old sponsor told me to think with my head and not my heart. I know that I need to be able to stop my day, when I find myself in a negative situation, and start it over again. This, by stepping aside and praying and asking for help. Achieving peace of mind. Calming down and turning to positive thinking, and then going back out and continuing with the day.
I often go back to that old timer, who always began with attitudes are everything. They’re more important than facts. In fact they can change the facts. And he was absolutely right. I had to learn that the hard way. But it helped to change me and to handle most of my life positively.
Anyway I often go to my mirror and make fun of myself and turning my thoughts into a laugh. I say to myself, you klutz you’re nutz. And then I laugh and go out into the world with that mood or attitude. But it tells me a lot of truth that I often fail to see, if left to my own devices. I know others who do establish their morning with a positive attitude to meet the day, rather than get pulled down into the dark and wander off all over the place.
I guess what I’m thinking is that I came here to get sober and never drink again. In order to do that I know it’s important to do what was given to me. This program. To become spiritual in nature and to come to believe in a Power greater than myself. I know it’s the spiritual way of life I found in here, which is the basis of my being able to stay sober a day at a time. I never want to forget that and I know that I need to take this way of life seriously…but not negatively.
Yes, I am grateful for all that has been given to me. I know I have been blessed and that my hopes have been fulfilled beyond my expectations. Like so many I know that I can often run into “hard times”. My faults and my defects want to rise up and take over my life. That’s where I need to have the faith and call upon my Higher Power for help. Not to give into negativity, but to rely in faith upon what I have always been given before.
Of course, all this is based on my experiences in here with all those in this fellowship who have helped me all the way. Talk about gratitude. I look back at my old sponsor and all those old timers I knew back when I came in. And then all those friends I have been able to make, who have given me so much love and assistance. And then there are all those who are so much help in here. And I can never forget the God of my understanding, my Higher Power, who has given me the faith and courage and the power I need to stay sober today. Thanks.