One of the things I remember back when I came in was that there never was a God discussion. What one believed or didn’t was never discussed in meetings. It was only when I would find myself talking to an individual that they might bring up their belief or non belief. I can remember one woman at a meeting one day, who told me that she was an agnostic. I can recall I was for some reason surprised. I don’t think we went beyond her stating that.
Of course that was in the early 70s. We would go to meetings and talk about the Steps all the time, but never about “spirituality” as such. Although I do always remember that one meeting, when a woman asked her sponsor what God’s will for her was. It was a meeting on the Third Step. Of course her sponsor responded immediately with, “The other nine Steps.”
But even during meetings where Higher Power or the God of our understanding were in these Steps, there was no detailed discussion. It was just accepted. Period. The meeting would go on and there was no identifications discussed. The general descriptions in the Step itself was all that was said.
I know for a fact that was because of what was the reason for opening this program up to anyone who wanted to get sober. The early members changed the language in the Steps to make sure no one, who was an alcoholic, would feel banned by beliefs one way or another. The description of the concept of a God was not specific. It was general. A God of our understanding or a Higher Power or a Power greater than ourselves. It opened the door for atheists, agnostics, Christians, or whatever other religion wanted to get sober. I know that one woman told us that her first Higher Power was a tree. I read of others who believed in roses. Another in molecules and atoms. Stars in the sky was another description.
I do know that Bill W. wrote about how he damaged a number of alcoholics early on and later felt guilty for what he had done. When AA started he preached his belief to anyone who would listen and the result was that a number of those he reached were driven back out the doors and back into a drink. So the discussion among the early members, especially about the Steps made them make the changes.
There was also another reason so to speak. That was the Oxford Group, which was really the start back then for alcoholics seeking help. It really was considered a religion. Bill and Lois and the alcoholics they were working with at the time were asked to leave the Oxford Group. Much the same thing happened out in Ohio, where Dr. Bob had started the same thing. The early members knew that AA could not be a religion. It wouldn’t work.
On top of all of this we were told, and it’s in the BB, that we’re not here to teach others what it is we believe. We’re told that it’s up to the individual what makes sense to them. Besides others have told me that it isn’t always fixed in their minds. They expressed to me that things changed over time with them.
Yet I have heard too many times what people seemed to want others to believe the way they do. That seems to almost be the opposite of what that Fifth Tradition states. It tells us the AA message is what we’re supposed to carry to the alcoholic who still suffers. It asks the group to be a “spiritual entity” not a “religious” entity. We’re there to talk about spirituality in general. Nothing specific.
I couldn’t help but think about this today, because of the emphasis by so many on God specifically. About some discussion on religions. It was nevertheless too much outside the areas we really need to be in. I know that afterwards I sat with some old timers and they were negative in their reaction to what went on.
Anyway I could hear what they were saying and how bad they felt for having gotten into almost an argument with what they were hearing. I’m sure nothing will change what is presently going on. However it is hardly allowing the group to be open to welcoming non believers. Some who might very well use the program for their Higher Power. I do know of a number who do that, but are always feeling pushed aside by some of what went on today.
I know that I talk about the God of my understanding or my Higher Power while I’m thinking about this program, but that’s as far as I want to go. I have my own thoughts in private and that’s where I know I need to be. I don’t want to ever feel we drove others back out to drink again.
Anyway I had to stop and think about what I believe I learned in here, when it comes to the practice of our spiritual life in this program. All I need in general is to know that it works in spite of me or anyone else.