Sounds strange, but my thoughts tonight were on the word “courage”. The courage to change the things we can…and the wisdom to know the difference.
I often think about the need of the Serenity Prayer for someone like me. I know that it’s often brought up at meetings or someone sharing with me. I know that I use that prayer. The things I cannot change.
What are those? Almost everything I think. I certainly can’t change someones mind, if they aren’t open. And I know that the same way works for others with me, depending on whatever it is.
I know how often it is that when I cannot change someone else, that I know that, when I cannot accept, that I can run into my temper. Sometimes my anxiety and even fear. But resentment can come on quickly, if I’m not careful. That’s why that prayer is so important for me. I don’t want to end up angry, resentful, and drunk. I’ve seen what it has done to others. Death for sure. And I definitely don’t want to go there.
So, I know I have to continue to learn how to accept the truth of this prayer. And I need what I request from my Higher Power. Serenity. Peace of mind and heart.
But then I have to continue to grow along spiritual lines. I have to be able to change my way of life. My way of thinking. My acceptance. And I know how often I can get my negative emotions in my way and stumble. And that’s when I have to develop the courage to change. I can’t change anyone or anything else. Only me.
I’ve know men, who have been in battles in wars, going back to the Second and on up. Over time I have had the opportunity to talk to them and some have shared their stories with me. I have even read a few. And I know one of the biggest obstacles was fear. It is for me anyway, as it was for them.
Somehow they were able to exercise courage. My understanding, because I never questioned anyone, accepting their story, was that somehow they were able to take action. Perhaps it was prayer. My guess anyway. But they had to overcome their fear and they did.
For me to change, and that’s what it has all been about since I came into this program, I have had to learn how to practice, faith. And, of course, that had to be preceded by hope. But it also meant that I had to learn how to get out of my own way. Or, the wisdom to know the difference.
I came here as the result of hope taking over my life and eliminating despair. It was that hope which helped me to surrender to the God of my understanding. It resulted in my being freed of the bondage alcohol had over me. Never want to forget that. And that was what gave me the courage to change and to continue and come into this program.
Anyway I know that no matter what, I have to continue to change. I need to continue to hope and as result to develop the faith I need to depend on my Higher Power. And to love what my sobriety and this program, my Higher Power, and all those old timers, my friends, and others have done to me and for me.
As a result of depending on the Serenity Prayer and what I have learned in here and practiced, I have been able to stay sober a day at a time. Somehow I have been able to avoid, for the most part, what could drag me down and out of this program. My inability to trust and depend on the God of my understanding. The Third Step. Thanks to what I have been given, beginning with that Second Step, I have learned how to persevere and continue to trust what I have learned to practice one day at a time. For that I am grateful.