Pain. That was one of the primary subjects, as we talked about the First Step today, Twelfth Stepping a new man. How the word kept everyone focused on why we were there and how we hoped he would hear it.
It was his first meeting. I had talked to him before the meeting and picked up on his suffering from the results of his drinking alcohol. Hopefully he will return and continue to seek sobriety. I could tell he was on the edge of turning his life over. I could speak to him and then do what I had to and let him go. It’s up to him now. We all had to go through the same thing.
I think he got a sponsor while he was sitting there. An alcoholic I know he can depend upon for the help he needs for continuing to stay sober. Someone who knows what he’s going through right now. That gave me hope.
I do know what that First Step in the 12&12 is talking about, when it tells us we need bottoms. The result of the pain we suffer as the result of hitting our bottoms from this disease. It’s that pain which makes us surrender and begin to give up alcohol and hopefully be open to the help being offered us here in the program. Like it says to listen as only the dying can listen. I know that was me and so many others like myself in here. Hopefully it’s this new man.
It always amazes me how someone like this catches my focus on why I am here and what it is I need to do to stay sober. And most everyone focused on staying sober for this day. Not tomorrow or next year. Right now. Staying hopefully in the moment.
Anyway I was sitting right next to him and that held my attention throughout the meeting. I couldn’t help but be amazed at how many came up to him after wards and spoke to him. I think it is mainly because he seemed so open to what was being offered to him. I know that was what drew me to him. Made me wonder what I was like when I walked through these doors.
But it did for me what I needed. To remind me of what it is I need to do a day at a time. To stay sober. To maintain a spiritual theme in my life. To grow along spiritual lines through these Steps and to grow in hope, faith, and love. To surrender. To give up and to maintain that sober thought that I never ever wanted to drink alcohol again. To let go of not only alcohol but the way of life which supported it. Hopefully I am practicing this way of life, and listening as I should to what is being shared and given in this program to people like me. And hoping that I’m willing to share what I have experienced and learned in here.
Anyway I am grateful to my Higher Power and all those who have helped me to continue to stay sober and grow along spiritual lines.