Every time I remember to read or quote the Eleventh Step I am reminded of what it is I’m supposed to be doing. And, of course, it definitely shows me how far I still have to go.
Part of that is what’s really wrong with me. My wandering mind for instance. I know that I can start a prayer or meditation and find myself at a ball game for instance. I have often started the Our Father to find myself wondering how our team did last night. And meditation? Almost the same thing. Talk about being open to distractions.
Often times that tempts me to quit. To give up at least on meditation. And yet I know that is not why I have these Steps in front of me. I know that I need to never give up. Never to quit. Yet, how do I deal with this? And the answer for this alcoholic is to sit down and write. Especially when it comes to meditation. When I do this I know I can stay focused on what it is I’m trying to do. I learned that a long time ago, when I was told I needed to keep a journal, which I did for a long time.
And my prayers? Not to get into too long. I know I need to pray because I need all the help I can get from time to time. So I try to use prayers like the Serenity Prayer or even shorter ways of asking for the help I need. Sometimes I know I can sit quietly and read the Prayer of St. Francis from the 12&12. Again, I know I can find I can focus my mind where it belongs by also writing my thoughts out as in meditations.
All I know is that I need to continue to practice and not give up. Over time it has helped me to change in a way. Yet it is still a struggle from time to time. I’m not complaining. Just want to stay willing to keep on trying to do the right thing.
Why I stopped to think about this today is because I know that I need to continue to practice trying to live a spiritual way of life in here, which began with that Second Step. It opened the door to the rest of the Steps. And no matter how long I stay sober I know I have to do what I need to do one day at a time. And that’s to do what the Eleventh Step states.
Anyway I needed to remind myself once again why I am here. And that’s to stay sober one day at a time. .