Was given a gift today from a couple of alcoholics. This gift was given to me over a period of time from so many others that these two made me back off and think about it. Grateful for what happens to someone like me. Peace of mind and happiness.
The reason it works for me is because I know exactly where they are. Been there myself over the young years of my sobriety. Once again we can get caught up in our emotions. Fear, anxiety, self pity, worry, even threats of self anger. And then other stuff. Relationships and problems. Of course our over sized egos running the show. Like my sponsor and others used to say, “Poor me. Pour me another drink.”
One of the things I began to learn from my sponsor and others was to do what they told me. I was told to look down at my feet and determine where I was standing. And, of course, it was always the same place. Today. Right now. No further ahead or behind. To learn how to stay in the moment and stop all these emotional thoughts. To learn to ease down and be quiet. To come to understand that whatever the future might hold it’s not in the present moment.
Of course where we find ourselves is often in our “teens”. Our immaturity. Sometimes I have to laugh at myself, when I look at my age and where I can find myself thinking like I’m not old. Or as my sponsor said to me that I was immature, insecure, and over sensitive. Not grown up. I look back at that and wonder if any of us ever really reach maturity. My guess is not many.
Then the most important aspect of all of this is what I must always remember, if I plan to stay sober. My Higher Power. Spiritual growth. This is all dependent on whether I pray and ask for the strength and the help I need, as I continue to be in this program. I know that for me and so many others it is the solution to what is wrong with me and the rest of us. I need to have hope, faith, and eventually love. Gratitude for all I have been given. How could I ever forget? No surprise, I have done that so often.
Yet I know how often others would refresh my memory and help me to get back on the path we talk about in that chapter How It Works. And that’s what I hope I can give to others like me, when I’m able to receive their charitable gift to me of themselves. Where they are at the moment. What it does for me is to remember exactly what happened to me and how I was helped by my Higher Power and others. Like I often think, how I’m never sure how I have helped, but I know that I am as a result.
Anyway I had to stop and think about all of this. It has to do with our sobriety and our living a spiritual life and staying sober. I know that each and everyday I try to remember why I am here. I’m here to stay sober this day and everyday I have been in this program. Once again I have to repeat myself. I am grateful to my Higher Power and my old sponsor and all the rest of those in here, who have given of themselves to help me to stay sober. I need to say thanks.