Today we talked about the most important thing for us alcoholics. Staying sober.
A friend of mine brought up the topic. They had an experience this past week where they were consumed with the thought of a drink. So much so that they didn’t want to talk to their sponsor or anyone else. They didn’t want to pray for help, nor did they want to hear anything about staying sober. It was one of those moments that the BB talks about at the end of the third chapter in the BB, More About Alcoholism. It says something about there may come a time in the life of an alcoholic when they will have no effective mental defense against that first drink.
Certainly I had one of those moments in my recovery, about a year and half in. I’m forever grateful that someone suggested I step outside and say a prayer. I did and the overwhelming urge to drink went away. The thing that always amazed me was that up to the moment the drive to drink took over I had no thought of a drink whatsoever. It happened in a flash.
I know of one thing which can overwhelm an alcoholic and drive them out the door to take a drink. I’ve seen it too many times in the program. That’s when the individual alcoholic takes a drink over a resentment. I had my first sponsor do exactly that. He went out drank and died. And right on the heels of that another man I knew did the same thing for the same reason and he also died. Talk about a wake up call for this alcoholic.
When I think about this challenge to an alcoholic like myself I have to remember why I’m here in the first place. I have an incurable disease. I know I will have this disease until the day I die. However I also know that if I will apply this spiritual program to myself and my alcoholism that I can stay sober a day at a time. I know, except for that one moment in the past, that I rarely if ever think about a drink, unless I’m at a meeting and that’s what we’re talking about.
That’s why I’m so grateful for this program. I learned early on that I can’t stay sober by myself. I need others like myself to keep me on track. I need to go to meetings to hear what I need to remember. To be reminded of what it is that works in this program on a daily basis. To know that my sobriety is a day at a time in here. All I have to do is to practice these spiritual principles in my life today.
I was grateful to hear that the person who brought this up did not drink and got to a meeting the next day and is still committed to staying sober. And that is a reminder to me. I never ever want to drink alcohol again. That’s what drove me into this program and keeps me doing what I need to do in this program. Although I know that gratitude is one of my driving forces today. I have been so blessed with peace and happiness I have found in here. The very fact that I have been restored to sanity and have had a spiritual awakening to me are miracles.
Once again taking the time to stop and think about what I need to do: stay sober a day at a time.